"Money is the pink elephant in the bedroom," financial writer Manisha Thakor said in a telephone interview from her winter home in Houston. "A common question when you get married is if you are spiritually and physically compatible. Nobody asks if you are financially compatible."

Thakor, a summer resident of Santa Fe, is the co-author of two books about money issues, written especially for women.

Before becoming an author, she received a master's degree from Harvard Business School and worked for several years with a financial adviser in Houston.

She and Sharon Kedar, who also holds a Harvard MBA, in 2007 published a personal financial guide for women, On My Own Two Feet.

The book explains, in simple terms, how to create a budget, avoid credit-card debt, open a retirement plan and invest in stocks and bonds.

As the two women traveled around the country to promote the book, they found that although their audiences came to hear about budgeting, saving and investing, they were most interested in talking about what their financial experiences had been with their husbands and boyfriends.

She heard story after story of women who fight with their husbands about money, about those whose boyfriends left them in debt. Many of these women had handed over their financial power to men who had very different (or no) financial goals.

She and Kedar decided to write another book that would help women in a relationship manage their finances. Get Financially Naked was published in early 2010.

The premise of the book is that women don't hesitate to share their bodies with their partners, but don't consider sharing the details of their relationship with money.

When women have problems with their partners over money, they think they are alone, but those financial conflicts are more common than any other issues between couples.

The advice in Get Financially Naked is straightforward. The first chapter begins: "If you want to achieve financial satisfaction with your honey, you must first understand how to achieve it on your own ... If you do not know what makes you happy, how on earth can you expect someone else to help to support you on the path to get there?"

The authors include a series of exercises to get readers to focus on what they want financially. Then they explain how important it is for women to discuss money matters with their partners.

They point out that many studies show that "money is one of the top causes of arguments in marriages, top reasons for divorce and top drivers of general life stress."

Thakor and Kedar write that 70 percent of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, no matter how much money they earn. The book explains that if women keep secrets from their partners — or vice-versa — they are likely to end up in financial chaos.

When not traveling to promote her book this summer, Thakor will be in Santa Fe. Her husband visited the city when his son was a Boy Scout at Philmont Ranch near Cimarron. The couple now own a house here.

Thakor is bullish on Santa Fe. One of her favorite stops is Downtown Subscription: "It's the most spiritual place in town."

She said that while "entirely too many" Americans were living beyond their means before the recession, many Santa Feans had been trying to live a more spiritual, less-materialistic life. For that reason she believes Santa Fe will emerge faster than most cities from the economic recession.

She believes the city is a good place to start new small businesses, and that leaders should reposition Santa Fe as an entrepreneurial hub, because it already has a great deal of intellectual property.

In the national economy, Thakor has observed that women-owned banks and financial institutions are doing better than the national average. "Testosterone overheated" firms are more likely to take dangerous business risks, she said.

Referring to the financial firm whose speculation in subprime mortgages helped drive the country into recession, Thakor said "It would have been a better outcome if it had been Lehman Sisters instead of Lehman Brothers."

A third advice book about money is in the planning stages. Thakor said that while she travels and speaks, she is listening to see what are the "points of financial pain," and that she will write about those.



On My Own Two Feet: a modern girl's guide to personal finance by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar, Adams Media, 184 pages



Get Financially Naked: how to talk money with your honey by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar, Adams Media, 175 pages