Life is lived in relationship. But if you're not feeling related — to yourself, your family, friends or anything else — it may be time to see the founders of Spirit's Haven.

"Our expertise is working with people in life transitions, all forms of trauma, as well as relationship concerns," said Paula Elizabeth, who along with her husband, Ross Putnam, opened a counseling center two years ago. "We do conflict resolution and work with people in times of grief and loss."

The couple also has many clients seeking them out wanting counseling in sexual orientation and gender identification. "Our society is becoming more open on these issues, and people can claim who they are," Putnam said. Before moving to Santa Fe, he and Elizabeth were in Massachusetts when gay marriage became legalized. "We were both doing counseling at the time, and we developed a course that helped people in this area that once had been so closed."

Both Putnam and Elizabeth are licensed mental-health counselors and ordained ministers with the United Church of Christ. Putnam was a parish minister for 25 years; Elizabeth began working in the corporate world before entering seminary. She then earned a master's of divinity degree from Boston University School of Theology and did consultation work for churches. The two married 10 years ago. Wanting more fulfilling work, they came West "to check it out."

"We were intrigued with New Mexico and looked into opening a B&B and spiritual retreat," Putnam said. "We explored Albuquerque and just weren't connecting with anything."

Elizabeth continued the story: "To relax, we came to Santa Fe for a day. Within five minutes, we knew we'd been looking in the wrong place. We loved Santa Fe," she said. Before leaving town, they stopped at the Chamber of Commerce and learned about Southwestern College, enrolled, bought a house and moved in August 2006.

"The course of study (a master's degree program with a concentration in trauma, grief and loss) was pretty intense, and Spirit's Haven began soon after we started. We just knew it was what we wanted to do. And it became more and more clear we wanted to work with couples. And we wanted to work together," Elizabeth said. After they received their license, their first office was in a space downtown.

Two years ago when therapist Melanie Copeland moved to Santa Fe, she looked for an office and ended up sharing a space with Spirit's Haven. "We shared a space for a year. Ross and Paula are very personable and conscious," Copeland said. "I know a couple who is seeing them and they tell me how good they are. What's so unusual is Ross and Paula do the sessions together. Most counselors and therapists work alone with clients."

"We've found that working together works really well for us," Elizabeth said. "Working together is a great way for the male and female parts to come out, whether we're working with straights, gays, married or not." One client, Randy Murray, spoke very highly of Spirit's Haven's team approach. He'd lost his partner and was in a deep period of loss and grief.

"When Clint passed away, I went to St. Vincent's Outreach program and Ross and Paula were the facilitators. I attended four to five sessions with them. They were still getting their degrees at Southwestern. Both were very professional and very empathetic," Murray said. "I was very pleased to have met them. I hope Santa Fe holds on to them. They're really an asset to the community."

Wanting a place that was more comfortable than an office space, the owners of Spirit's Haven now work out of their home. "Now we can make it our own with candles and music. We also have many walking trails near our house in Rancho Viejo, and there's also a labyrinth if we feel going outside would benefit a person," Elizabeth said.

Their fee starts at $90 a couple for a 11/2-hour session. They also see individual clients.

When it came to setting up the business, their start-up costs included pamphlets, stationery, brochures and a Web site. They estimate the initial investment was about $5,000. At first they also did some advertising but word of mouth seems to be working best now. They also do sessions by phone if a client travels a lot; they also use Skype when appropriate.