This column, on occasion, highlights many of the formalities of the American meal. But when it comes to barbecue, formality goes out the window and the rules about which fork to use get replaced with the brawn of bare hands. I connect this with man's discovery of fire. There's something instinctual about a man with meat and fire. This act of cooking has evolved into what we now call the barbecue, braai, barbie, asado and churrasco. Man has devoted countless hours to arranging the perfect configuration of coals for maximum efficiency.

Hosting a barbecue is a time-honored tradition on this celebratory weekend. Here are tips on what you can do to maximize your enjoyment of this American cooking event.

• How to prepare for a barbecue is determined by the location. If it is being held at a residence, it is assumed that most food, supplies and seating will be provided. If it is held at a public setting like a park, the host should inform guests what to bring — from food to chairs.

• In this day of vegan, lacto-ovo vegetarian and gluten-free diets, guests have diverse dietary needs. To accommodate this, offer an array of foods. It is also perfectly acceptable to ask your guests to bring something. It is imperative to inform guests if you are or are not offering a meatless grill as guests may choose to bring an alternate dish rather than cross-contaminate veggie burgers with steaks.

• Before guests arrive, it is mandatory that your grill is in good working order and grill tools are on site. Depending on your grill, propane tanks should be filled or dry bags of charcoal at the ready. With the latter, test your coal configuration before the guests' arrival. An unsuccessful combustion combined with voracious appetites can drive griller and guests to resort to using a can of gasoline and ignite a frenzy.

• Have plenty of napkins available for messy barbecue sauces, and bags of ice for chilling drinks. Provide clearly marked trash and recycle bins, but be prepared to sort them later.

• Don't overwhelm guests with too many rules, but remember, they have certain responsibilities, too. Bring something within your budget even when not asked, but make sure it's ready to serve so your host is not left hunting for a serving bowl and spoon.

• Double dipping is in poor taste and hygiene, so spoon dips and sauces onto your plate.

• The most important responsibility is to respect the grill zone, a 5-foot radius of smoky, impenetrable power. Enter uninvited and you are playing with fire. To avoid conflict, let the designated captain of the coals handle the action as only he/she can hand over the tongs. Never commandeer a grill. If you're bringing your own food, check in with the barbecue boss so you know when you can start grilling. The tong masters are an all-knowing breed behind the grill. They possess a sixth sense and can see into the heart of a steak. It is a breach of etiquette to micromanage the meat, edible or not. Keep your requests, like lightly searing your steak, to a minimum and no matter how black your burger looks, always compliment the chef.

Barbecues are an informal affair, but the rules of etiquette around the grill are global and enduring. Whether it's burgers on the BBQ or boerewors on the braai, heed my counsel:

If you brave interaction with the tong master, your only task should be to offer beer, not advice. You'll graduate to that "Kiss the Cook" apron and, if you're lucky, the tongs themselves.

Bizia Greene is founder of the Etiquette School of Santa Fe. Contact her at www.etiquettesantafe.com">www.etiquettesantafe.com or 988-2070.