You’re president of a youth baseball league — say, the West Medford Hillside Little League in Massachusetts.
And say, just for argument’s sake, that you’ve been using the league’s coffers as your personal ATM for a couple of decades, diverting more than $50,000 with the help of a close relative — say, your son, the treasurer.
You’ve gotten away with it this long because no one else looks at the books.
But you’re getting on in years — you’re 78 or so, and you’re thinking about stepping down.
Good idea? Uh, no.
When Stanley Komins and his boy, Stephen, 45, stopped running the league, they turned over the group’s assets to the new president.
The assets were $9 in a bank account and an envelope with a single Benjamin.
Oddly enough, this raised questions for the new president and, subsequently, for the Medford police. Now the Kominses face a series of charges.
Lesson learned: If you’re stealing money and keeping the books, do not — ever — retire.
• • •
The last column of the year means awards time, so let me present:
Sports Marriage of the Year: Seven days after it was revealed that Candace Williams alleged in court documents that Baltimore linebacker Terrell Suggs “punched her in the neck and drove a car containing their two children at a ‘high rate of speed’ while she was being dragged alongside” — and three days after Williams lifted a protective order against Suggs — the happy couple were joined in holy matrimony.
Sports Marriage of the Year II: Soccer star Hope Solo tied the knot with Jerramy Stevens hours after the former NFL tight end — no stranger to the police — was released from custody pending an investigation into a suspected assault against one Hope Solo.
Wake of the Year: The Nov. 27 brawl between two women both claiming to be the true girlfriend of the recently slain Hector “Macho” Comacho. One wonders what pay-per-view numbers could have been achieved with a little planning.
Modest Man of the Year: That would be Usain Bolt, who at the London Olympics won the 100- and 200-meter titles, then proclaimed, “I’m now a legend, I’m the greatest athlete to live.”
Money Maven of the Year: That’s Baltimore offensive lineman Bryant McKinnie, who defaulted on a $4.5 million loan taken out to tide him over during last year’s NFL lockout, leading to having half of his $2.2 million salary garnished by the Ravens, then was sued for allegedly running up a $375,000 tab at a strip club. That’s a lot of lap dances.
Media Critic of the Year: Unhappy about his country not getting an invitation to participate in the Asia Cup, cricketer Mohammad Nabi said, “Afghanistan is now a pretty stable country. The media has blown things out of proportion regarding the situation there.”
Marketer of the Year: Ryan Lochte, who tried unsuccessfully to trademark a made-up word: Jeah! “It means, like, almost, like, everything,” Lochte said in a YouTube video. It means, like, exactly, like, nothing.
Difference Maker of the Year: “I’m a very passionate person in terms of trying to make a difference in the lives of some young people,” convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky said in a pre-trial interview. Guess what, Jer: You succeeded.
Contact Jim Gordon at firstname.lastname@example.org.