Jackie Chan has been a lot of places in his life, and in The Spy Next Door he finds himself in Albuquerque. Filmed in Duke City, The Spy Next Door is the latest in an inexplicable run of kids movies (ahem, Around the World in 80 Days) starring one of the most famous masters of Hong Kong cinema.

The plot revolves around Bob Ho (Chan), who compromises CIA intelligence while baby-sitting his neighbor's children. He finds challenges not only in child care, but also in Russian secret agents who are after him and the kids. In a series of bland action sequences, he repeats some of the better stunts from his more well-known films, while keeping a close eye on the young ones.

Dwayne Johnson could have easily played Bob Ho, and they would not have had to alter a single line. It seems that once again, for whatever reason, Chan has tainted his formerly solid-gold reputation as a film star who acted in movies worth seeing. The plot is equal parts Spy Kids, Kindergarten Cop, Mrs. Doubtfire and rehashed kung-fu.

The few scenes that depict New Mexico imagery get ruined by bad acting and plot holes. Just like with Cody Banks, it seems that spy movies for kids have failed.

Vaughn Fortier-Shultz is a sophomore at Academy for Technology and the Classics. You can reach him at moosemanxl@gmail.com.